It’s 1:33 AM and I cant sleep. I likely can’t sleep because I have to be up early and my body likes to make me suffer. My sleep pattern has been a joke since 2011 and honestly I’m tired of it (see what I did there? Tired cuz I’m not getting enough sleep. That’s joke writing 101). While I sit in bed scrolling through Twitter hoping I’ll doze off, all I see are the replays of this wildly disrespectful goal by the Tampa Bay Lightning.
Ya, NHL, absurd is right.
Here’s a second look
Wow indeed, NHL. Wow indeed. What’s funny is, had Kuch missed the net, this would have sent Don Cherry into a fizzy about how they were trying to be too flashy with their passes (don’t hold your breath, he still may do that). The initial play is executed perfectly. Stamkos forces the turnover and dishes it off to the open man on the wall who immediately zips it out front to Palat who is wide open on the doorstep. Like, butt naked on Datona Beach the week before spring break wide open. And he just decides he’s not gonna shoot. One on One within 3 feet of the defending Cup champ goaltender and perennial Vezina candidate Braden Holtby? Too easy. So he drops it back to electric goal scorer Steven Stamkos who also decides, instead of shooting on the doorstep with his buddy Palat now screening Holtby, nahhhh I’m gonna go to my backhand and send a blind pass across the crease. In case I’ve lost you, here’s a third look. Just close your eyes when Stamkos passes it again and I’ll do some more unnecessary breakdown.
Okay let me catch my breath. So. What we saw here were two irresponsible hockey plays on the doorstep in a tie game halfway through the second period. It’s one of those moments where coaches freeze the play during film study with Patat out front and the puck on his stick and say “okay the play worked out but why in the FUCK would you not shoot that puck? Next time lets just shoot and score like a gentleman, okay?” But instead we got a tic tack toe passing play with a beautiful finish from Kucherov because that’s all the Kuch Daddy does is score filthy goals that make you wonder why he was only taken in the 2nd round of the draft that had Brett Connolly selected 6th overall.
So maybe that’s why I’m still awake. I wrote a little while ago that the Bruins cancelled the Lightning but I guess that cancel only counts when they play the Black and Gold because Victor Hedman, a defenseman, decided it would be adorable to score this beauty in overtime.
End of blog. 2009 by Mac Miller just came on my shuffle so I suppose I’ll cry myself to sleep now.
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