We all know the story. USSR ran the hockey world in the late 60s, through the 70s, and that train wasn’t slowing down heading into the 80s. Unfortunately for them they ran into the little engine that could. A small country with little prowess in international athletics, the United States of America. The rest, as you know, is history.
In the movie Miracle, based on the events of the USA hockey team during the 1980 Olympics, the Soviets are the big bad guys. They never lose, not even to the NHL All Stars. There’s also that little part about them being from a country that is slaughtering their own people (not great, Bob). I don’t think I need to chew your ear off. USSR-bad. USA-good. Got it?
I want to know what the fuck Patty Brooks’ deal was? She’s my least favorite character portrayed in that movie. That’s correct, Herb’s wife pissed me off more than the set of eyebrows coaching the Visitors bench.
Herb is a college hockey coach who finally lands his dream job. A true American dedicated to winning his country a few hockey games and some pretty medals. The first thing Patty does is bitch and moan about him not being able to pick the kids up from camp as he’s trying to get some film study in. Again, the Soviet Union just beat the NHL ALL STARS handedly in an exhibition game and Patty wants Herb to drive all the way to band camp to pick up the kids. Despicable. Then she storms off to bed upset because Herb never apologized. Fellas, raise your hand if that sounds familiar.
The Halloween party. Lord give me strength the Halloween party. One of those ones where all the neighbors come over to sip their wine and nibble on the cheese and crackers because they all feel the need to keep their body tight like Mr. And Mrs. Jones who live in the last house on the left with an inground pool and a white fence. The phone rings, the night after Herb’s interview to be head coach of the USA men’s Olympic hockey team. Patty carelessly asks her neighbor to pick it up. Gee who could be on the other line Pat? Couldn’t possibly be the USOC. What if Heather picked that phone up and thought it was a telemarketer? Or Verizon asking if they’d like to switch from Xfinity to Verizon? “Hi who’s this? USOC? Sorry we’re not interested”. Click. What a shame that would’ve been.
Patty eventually comes to grips with Herb having a job he must attend in order not to get fired.Herb and the boys take off for a game but their plane is derailed by a moose on the runway. Herb is on the phone with her explaining that they hit a moose and she keeps asking the state of the moose. Uhhhh Patty your husbands plane almost blew up because a big deer was dedicated in winning a game of chicken with his plane. 22 young men chasing their dream were on board. Husbands of the coaching staff with wives and kids and mortgages trying to earn an honest dollar didn’t ask for Bullwinkle to sabotage their workspace. All I’m saying is maybe Patty should’ve shown a little sympathy for her husband and the men and women on board instead of starting a twitter petition to have the pilots suspended for animal abuse.
That’s pretty much it. I also hate the way she says “asked”. Sounds like she’s saying “assed”. There’s a k in there Patty, when you don’t pronounce it you sound like an ass. Let the man accomplish his impossible feat with the escape of a quiet home for God’s sake.
The Locker Room 