As an avid Might Ducks fan I’ve had the pleasure of studying hours of the Disney classic trilogy. So many hours, in fact, that my mother told me when I was 7 (a year in which I’d watch all 3 movies every single day) that I would turn into a duck if I didn’t stop watching those movies. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen but I gained a deep well of knowledge when it comes to the worlds most famous PeeWee hockey team.
I was very disappointed to learn that my boy Jordie at Barstool Sports missed out on the genius that is Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson.
It Always Amazes Me How Shitty Of A Coach Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson Was https://www.barstoolsports.com/philadelphia/it-always-amazes-me-how-shitty-of-a-coach-wolf-the-dentist-stansson-was
Jordie brings up the infamous hidden goalie trick where Russ Tyler changes completely out of his player uniform and into full goalie gear during a single timeout. A solid move by coach Bombay. Have everyone looking one way while you pull some strings in the background. This game was clearly televised, made obvious by the broadcast during the game, so a long tv timeout explains how Russ had all that time to change.
However, a quick scan of the rule book shows in Rule 203 Section d) “Except when all goalkeepers are incapacitated, no player on the game roster shall be permitted to wear the equipment of the goalkeeper”.
This explains why Wolf was caught off guard. All he can manage to do is scream “THE GOALIE” not at his players, but at the referees who clearly had no fucking clue what they were doing. How they could possibly miss such egregious disrespect for the rule book is beyond me. You have to wonder if a little home cooking was in order. This was a huge turning point in the game and never should have been allowed.
Jordie then moves to the scene where Iceland bullies the not-so-Mighty Ducks off their own ice. A veteran move if I’ve ever seen one. You hear all the time about teams going into a game overconfident, taking practice lightly (maybe kicking a beach ball around), getting fat on ice cream, then they come out flat for the biggest game of the year. Wolf has no time for that. He sees Bombay abusing the privilege of ice time and has his squad suit up to get some extra powerplay looks in before the championship game. There’s not a second wasted on the National Iceland Junior Men’s Hockey Team.
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail” -Ben Franklin-Wolf Stansson probably
Next, we have eating ice cream with the enemy.
Some say you don’t sleep with the enemy. I say you need every edge you can get in a great tournament like the Junior Goodwill Games. Wolf’s fingerprints are all over this little date. Send the smokeshow trainer over to Bombay’s office and lure him into a night out on the town. He wastes time eating ice cream instead of scouting, lets his guard down, maybe there’s some casual conversation about forechecking and line matchups over a bottle of white. On Gordon’s bedside table under the ashtray is his playbook, conveniently left open on the “Iceland” tab. Wolf is a step ahead here sending his rat into the Duck’s nest.
Finally, we get to the shootout. Wolf rolls his best guys out there. The worst thing you can do in a spot like this is over-coach. Don’t get fancy. Don’t over complicate things. Let the guys that got you to that spot get you to the podium. With the game on his stick, Wolf trusts his captain to do what he does best and that’s rip bombs from the top of the circles.
Unfortunately for Wolf, his Captain kinda fucks him. Zips it right into Julie the Cat’s palm instead of ripping it bar down past her ear. It happens. But like I said, you have to ride with your guys in that spot. Gunnar Stahl is a superstar goal scorer. You’re not going to tell Picasso how to paint, Tom Brady how to win Super Bowls, or Tony the Tiger how Frosted Flakes taste, are you? That would be silly. He put faith in his guys and it didn’t shake out. They got boned by the refs during that goalie switcharoo and the Iceland goalie couldn’t make a stop down the stretch. It happens. You learn from it and come back stronger the next year.
So I’m here for you, Wolf. You’re organized, calculated, you’re faithful to your guys, you’re a little slimy sending a female to Bombay’s hotel room but sometimes the dividing line between winning and losing is razor thin and The Dentist did all he could to stack the deck in his favor. That’s a man I’d play for.
The Locker Room 